Extremly stupid Warriors stories
by almondmuffin
Summary: I have no clue why I'm writing these, but I just had dumb ideas for dumb things to happen. Just read it and shout at me for being random stupid!


VERY STUPID WARRIORS STORIES:

Fireheart was nervous. He had just let Silverstream go, and Tigerclaw saw him. Fireheart was afraid that Tigerclaw would accuse him of being disloyal. Prowling off to his den, Fireheart didn't make a sound. He was too nervous.

The next day, Fireheart went out hunting. Crouching near a mouse, he was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.

"Hey!" Fireheart said. "What did you do that for? That mouse was so fat…" Fireheart's voice trailed off as he realized who the cat who cleared his throat was. Fireheart gulped.

"Fireheart, you have committed a serious offence. I need to talk to you for a minute."

Fireheart shook with nervousness, but followed Tigerclaw to Sunningrocks. "There," Tigerclaw said. "This place should be good for a talk.

Fireheart's ears twitched. This is the end, Fireheart thought.

"Fireheart, you have done a serious misdoing. Fireheart, YOU SMELL LIKE A BADGER!"

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Graystripe and Fireheart were going out hunting near Riverclan territory, chatting while sniffing once in a while for prey.

"Ooh," Graystripe said. "I smell squirrel."

Fireheart looked confused, he couldn't smell any, but nodded. "You can chase the squirrel than. I will be hunting over here."

Graystripe frowned. "The squirrel 's on Riverclan territory."

Fireheart shrugged. "Who cares? Catch it anyhow!"

Graystripe smiled and padded over the stepping-stones silently.

"MEOOOOOOOOOW!" Graystripe pounced with all his might and clawed the prey's belly.

"Ow, that hurt!" The prey said, while it's head was in Graystripe's mouth.

"AAAAAAAAAAAUGH! A SQUIRREL CAN TALK! AAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The silver she-cat frowned. "I AM NOT PREY, STUPID FURBALL! MOUSE BRAIN! YOU'RE GOING TO BE CROWFOOD!" She tried to attack him, but Graystripe backed up.

"Oh… you're a cat? Sorry, I thought you were a squirrel."

"Oh, that's okay. Hey you're kinda cute. Do you want to mate until Forest of Secrets, in which I will die bearing your kits Feathertail and Stormfur, one in which will be killed by a Lion and the other who will join a Tribe?"

"Sounds good to me. Hey, what's your name?"

"Silverstream."

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Leopardfur, Mistyfoot, and Stonefur approached the Thunderclan camp. "Hey Bluestar, we want the half-Thunderclan kits now." The Riverclan deputy told the leader of Thunderclan

"But you have them." Bluestar replied.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Stonefur asked, confuzzled.

"Hey Stonefur, Mistyfoot? You guys are my kits. That's why you look like me. Okay? But, Leopardfur, you know, you're right." Bluestar then addressed the deputy. "It's torture to not hang around my kits. So I think that I'll join Riverclan, okay? Fireheart, you can lead Thunderclan. Tigerclaw's evil and all. This ends you're the 'Fire alone will save the clan' prophecy 3 books earlier, which is good timing. This way I won't die from a dog pack, instead I'll be a random Riverclan warrior. Tata!"

Fireheart stood there in a daze.

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"Silverstream? Are you alive?" Graystripe prodded the Riverclan she-cat's body.

Tigerclaw stood behind him. "Of course not, you stupid furball. Now lick her kits."

"Way to be insensitive," Graystripe said.

"I'm too sad to be happy," Tigerclaw said. He licked a brown kit.

"Why are YOU sad, you rouge traitor? You hate her and everyone!"

"I loved her. sniff " Tigerclaw nosed Silverstream's body. Tigerclaw licked the silver she-cat's body.

"YOU? But you're actually LOYAL, unlike me! And besides, she had my kits! Silver-pookie isn't a cheater!"

"Those are my kits. See-" Tigerclaw held up the kit he was licking. "He looks just like me! I'll name him Bramblekit. These are MY kits!"

Graystripe let out a yowl, knowing that the cat he had loved more than loyalty, friendship, and life was a cheater.

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Fireheart was hanging around the medicine cat's den, flirting with Cinderpaw, but then he remembered he promised to go hunting with Sandstorm. "Sorry, Cinder-darling, I have to go hunt, I'm sorry."

He went out to hunt with Sandstorm, while actually flirting with her. They had a good time, and caught plenty of prey.

Fireheart went to eat his mouse with Cinderpaw. Suddenly, they spotted two Shadowclan cats with binoculars and travel guides.

"Littlecloud? Whitethroat? What are you doing on Thunderclan territory?" Cinderpaw asked.

"Sightseeing."

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"Fireheart, I want to go to the Moonstone." Bluestar told her flame-colored deputy.

"Okay, I'll go with you."

They got some traveling herbs from Yellowfang and started on their way. Passing through Windclan territory, near the Thunderpath, they saw something odd.

The Thunderpath was stuffed, and it was impossible to move. Balloons were flying, sparkles were floating through the air, and horns were honking.

"What IS this?" Fireheart asked.

They walked closer to the Thunderpath, and noticed that the Thunderpath was stuffed with kittypets with rainbow collars.

"Bluestar, I'll ask them what's going on. We need to get the Moonstone!"

Fireheart went up to his old friend Smudge. "Smudge, what in Starclan's name is going on?"

"We're having a party!"

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STOPPING MISTYFOOT AND STONEFUR FROM ATTACKING BLUESTAR- TAKE 1:

Graystripe motioned towards the left. To Fireheart's shock, he saw Mistyfoot and Stonefur attacking Bluestar.

"Wow, Graystripe, thanks for telling me."

Fireheart rushed over to Mistyfoot and Stonefur. He heard their hisses:

"Give us one reason why we shouldn't kill you."

"What? Why aren't you attacking us? Are you a coward?"

Fireheart knew he had to do something. Scooping up Bluestar's body, he did the first thing he thought of; throwing her into the river.

There, thought Fireheart, that way Mistyfoot and Stonefur won't attack her. Good.

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STOPPING MISTYFOOT AND STONEFUR FROM ATTACKING BLUESTAR- TAKE TWO:

Graystripe pointed towards the left. Fireheart opened his mouth in shock. There was Mistyfoot and Stonefur attacking Bluestar!

"Thanks, Graystripe."

Fireheart hurried over to where Mistyfoot and Stonefur were crouched over Bluestar.

"Give us one reason why we shouldn't kill you right now," Mistyfoot hissed.

Bluestar didn't make a move.

"What? Why aren't you fighting back? Are you a soft kittypet?"

Fireheart pulled out his shiny Grammy award medal. "OOOH! SHINY!" He cried. "LOOK AT THE SHIIIINY! SHINY SHINY SHINY MEDAL! YAY FOR SHINY! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINY!"

Mistyfoot and Stonefur were intrigued. "Wow! It's shiny!" They both exclaimed. Then they both dived after Fireheart, furiously trying to grab the medal.

"Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"

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Mistyfoot approached Firestar. "So it's over?"

"Yes," Firestar told her. "Bloodclan is officially defeated."

Mistyfoot breathed a sigh of relief. "Firestar, I'm going back to Riverclan, okay?"

Mistyfoot padded back to the stepping-stones. Carefully stepping, a wave of water splashed up and hit the stone she was about to put her paw on.

Mistyfoot slipped and began to fall…

Fall….

Fall…

Fall….

Fall….

Fall!

"Mistyfoot? Mistyfoot? Are you alright?"

"Crookedstar? But… you're DEAD!" Mistyfoot squirmed in confusion.

"What are you talking about? Anyhow, have you heard? Oakheart just died!"

Oakheart? Mistyfoot thought. But… he died seasons ago!

"You slept for so long that we were worried," Crookedstar added.

Was this all a dream? Mistyfoot thought. Firestar, Bloodclan, Silverstream's death?

Wow, Mistyfoot thought. That was a really cool dream.

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"I can't believe it! Stonefur's dead!" Graystripe hissed. "I'll KILL Tigerstar! I'll scatter his remains across the world! I'll FLAY him!"

Ravenpaw nodded. "Well, do you want to get your kits?"

"How?"

"Just watch me."

Ravenpaw strolled up to Jaggedtooth who was guarding the prison.

"Squeek! Squeek!" Ravenpaw said, and crouched down.

_A mouse, _thought Jaggedtooth. _Odd. Well, it's just WAITING to be caught. Might as well. _He chased after Ravenpaw.

As Ravenpaw pretended to be a mouse, Graystripe and Firestar crept to the prison and rescued Mistyfoot, Featherpaw, and Stormpaw.

Awesome, Firestar thought.

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"Traitor! Filth!" Blackfoot, Tigerstar, and Darkstripe cried at Stonefur.

"Tigerstar, how am I a traitor? You… you're no good then crowfood, _TIGERLILY!"_

Tigerstar's ears flickered. "You know very well, Stonefur…"

Stonefur's eyes showed a false disbelief. "What are you talking about, Tigerlily?"

"THAT! DON'T – CALL- ME- TIGERLILY!"

"Is THAT why I'm a traitor?"

"OF COURSE YOU MOUSEBRAIN!"


End file.
